New Year, New Decade.

Happy New Year!

I rang in 2010 pretty much the same way I brought in 2000: at home with a glass of champagne. It’s crazy to think that ten years has flown by so quickly. January 1st, 2000: I was still in university (in England), single and as free as a bird. Ten years later, I’m in New York, married, hanging with my folks and my three rug rats. I can’t help but think that the old adage rings true for me: you can have it all, but not at the same time. I always wanted to start a family young, and I did. Now I need to fulfill my own aspirations and get my career where I want it to be.
It has been a year since I started this blog, and I’ve enjoyed it immensely. So wishing you all a blessed, fulfilling year. Now is the time to make your dreams a reality. The only sad thing would be not trying at all, so go for it!

I smell an imposter!!!

Something very terrible has happened.

Let me start at the beginning.

What seems like many years ago, Dolce & Gabbana released their first fragrance for women.  It was simple known as Dolce & Gabbana with the red top (aka pour femme).  The perfume was a love it or loathe it creation.  With its citrus and herbal top notes, heady floral heart and vanilla-musk base, there was nothing shy about it.  The jus had tons of sillage and could easily wear the wearer instead of the other way around.

I was just out of high school when I discovered this heavenly creation.  It was love at first sniff, and it was the first fragrance that was powerful enough to affect my mood.  All I had to do was wear it and I felt like a confident, sexy, bombshell instantly. It was brash and brazen, yet somehow still sophisticated.  It was my mother who treated me to my 3.4 oz bottle, and whenever I wore it, the compliments came all day long.  I was careful with my bottle of treasured perfume, so I only wore it on special occasions.  Recently, I took a good, long look at what was left of it and decided to retire it.  Here’s why: My bottle of D&G was purchased in 1998 and I was pretty certain that the jus had been altered since then.  I resolved that I would buy myself a new bottle and keep what was left of the vintage elixir for any super special moments.

When Your Nose Knows:

I received my new bottle of D&G pour femme and tested it on my arm.  Instantly, I knew that something was wrong. Very wrong.  The top notes seemed thin and not rich as they should.  As they developed into the heart of the fragrance my nose couldn’t get past a particular synthetic note that overwhelmed and altered the entire composition of the jus.  The dry down was the ‘politically correct’ version of what it used to be.  The fragrance itself had changed drastically.  It was an imposter!

To further convince myself of what I knew to be true, I asked my hubby to smell the new version of the perfume.  He has always loved the ’98 version on me.  He smelled the new stuff (not knowing what perfume it was) and declared that he didn’t care for it.

So am I crazy? No, not at all.  There is a great explanation as to why a perfume that is the same brand can (and often does) smell different that a previously purchased bottle.  Companies and Perfume Houses (especially the big ones, ie. brands found in a dept. store) often substitute or swap ingredients or change the composition of a fragrance for several reasons.  The raw ingredients needed may become scarce, the powers that be may issue the order to make the jus more cost efficient, etc.  The most troubling reason of late has come from the IFRA who are set to ban a host of natural ingredients that have been at the heart of great perfume making for the last hundred or so years. Classics will soon become ghosts of themselves without ingredients such as oak moss and jasmine.  Instead, fragrances will become synthetic in nature (which they already are, sorry to say).  Out with real ingredients, in with man-made formulas made to smell like the genuine article.  Needless to say, there are many people (myself included) that see this as the death of the art of perfumery. Good-bye Chanel No. 5, Farewell Joy.  I can’t help but wonder why the perfume houses are essentially agreeing to these restrictions and thereby, actively contributing to their own downfall.  As I type this post, I am sitting here, wearing the imposter fragrance sold to me as D&G.  I will have no choice but to stockpile certain favorites of mine before they are altered.  I wish I could say that this has been my first encounter with a fragrance that has been drastically reformulated; unfortunately, it has not.  Lucky for me, I have my original, beloved D&G tucked away for safe keeping (what is left of it, anyway), and the perfume I wore when I married.

One final note.  It truly does peeve me that these perfume houses are substituting real, quality ingredients for poor substitutes without admitting it or lowering the price to reflect their now inferior product.  Perfumistas, we must find a way to make our voice heard.

Summer Break

I have to apologize to any one who has been dropping by to see if I wrote anything new.  This is pretty much it.  It’s summer, and I’m trying to make the most of it while it lasts (never mind the weather is bipolar!).  I’ll be back in blogging mode in the later part of August, and with new info to share! So, enjoy your summer everyone!

It’s about time!

I am a voracious reader.  I devour books.  Almost ten years ago, I read a novel that was barely 200 pages, if that long.  The name of that novel is PUSH.  I remember this story because it was so well written, so gritty and heartwrenching…and it was the first book I had ever read that moved me to tears (since then, few others have managed to do the same). The story is about Precious, a teenager pregnant by her father for the second time.  She’s abused, obese, dark and uneducated, but she attempts to do better for herself and her baby.  I am so pleased that Sapphire’s work is now on the big screen for all to see.  I hope the movie does justice to the book.

Silencing the Spirit

Miss California is a hot topic.  People are still on this discussion, and most (from what I see and hear) think she was in the wrong to say what she said.  Here on Conscious Beauty, Miss California gets kudos for not selling out on her beliefs.  A lot of people (ie. gays) were offended when Carrie Prejean stated that she feels marriage should be between a man and a woman. We all have free will, and are entitled to our own opinion; however, free will carries with it, eternal consequences.   My opinion:  It’s unpopular and many will find it offensive, but I’m not interested in following the world’s belief system.  I fully agree with Miss California.  I am not a gay-basher, homophobic or anything like that.  However, I am not going to compromise my beliefs in order to make someone feel comfortable, especially when it is something my faith is crystal clear on.  Like I said, this stance may not be popular, but I’m going by God’s wisdom and man’s foolishness.  Everyone has the right to their own decision, one way or the other, just don’t try to force your set of values down my throat.

Happy Easter

Every one has their take on what today means.  For some, it’s about a bunny, or a day of work.  For me and many others who have accepted the salvation of Jesus Christ, today marks the day Jesus conquered death and evil.  I’m always amazed that church is packed on Easter, but not so much during the rest of the year.  I can personally testify that accepting Christ changes your life in ways that are impossible to imagine until you do it.  It’s wonderful.  Heaven and Hell are real places, and we’re going to one or the other depending the the choice we make. For those who accept Salvation, this is the closest they will ever come to experiencing Hell.  For those who do not, this life on Earth is the closest they’ll ever come to experiencing Heaven. The same almighty God who formed the universe and made us refuses to force Himself into our heart.  We have to invite Him in.  So, if you haven’t tried Jesus yet, or are putting it of, let me encourage you with the news that it will be the best decision you ever made. Happy Easter.

Keira Knightley Plays the Victim

There aren’t a lot of young movie stars that interest me. Keira Knightley may be one of the few.  When I hear she’s in a movie, I’m quick to check what type of film it is.  I admire the way she’s held her own and stayed out of the circus that most of her peers have joined.  My respect for Keira mainly comes for her period films.  She took one of my favorite literary characters (Lizzie Bennett) and portrayed her beautifully.  I loved Atonement and a bunch of other stuff she’s been in. Now, to the issue at hand.  Ms. Knightley and director Joe Wright (Pride & Prejudice, Atonement) have collaborated (once again) in a brilliant public service announcement about domestic violence.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this is all due to the Rihanna-Chris Brown drama, which has affected and influenced teens here and abroad.  Every one involved in this PSA made their contribution for free, which counts for something in this day and age.  While the other celebrities were busy chit-chatting about how acceptable or wrong beating on a woman may be, this woman made her stance.  For that, she gets major props. Oh yeah, it’s a British PSA, but with the power of the web, every one can watch!

The New Normal?

I’m probably going to offend somebody with this post, but it’s my blog, so I’m going with my opinion.  A few days ago, I was listening to Michael Baisden’s show while cooking dinner.  First off, I love listening to the show because it’s intelligent, informative and funny.  One of the topics of the day was appearance in the workplace.  Everyone knows that finding a job right now can be downright exhausting.  Yes, what’s on your resume counts for a lot…BUT…let’s not fool ourselves.  Looks count.  Wish they didn’t, but they do.  So, the panel on the show were talking about people who have the bright coloured hair, neck tattoos and piercings.  Long story short: do they have a right to complain that it is harder for them to get hired?

Rainbow Hair, Tattoos & Piercings, oh my!

I don’t have a problem with the punk coloured hair.  Honestly, I wish I had the courage to do it.  If you have a job that allows you to do it (ie. you aren’t breaking their dress code) then go ahead.  I could get away with crazy coloured hair where I work, but I’m too afraid I’ll damage my now healthy tresses.  If you don’t have a job but you’re on the hunt…well, best not to do this yet.

When it comes to tattoos, I think a lot of people have taken it wayyyy overboard.  I can understand a couple, but covering your body or sporting tattoo tears? I don’t get that.  Might as well tattoo a frown on your mouth, to match the tears.  Same with piercings.  Don’t get it.  My best friend pierced under her lip, as many are doing these days.  It’s her choice, of course, but I’m simply not a fan of these piercings.  Ears and nose, cool.  Everything else is pretty much a fad.  It seems there are more people (especially teenagers) inked and pierced than there are without markings.  It makes me wonder if this is going to be how everyone will look in ten years.  In 15 years, will my accountant, lawyer and doctor look like they were/are  in a rock band or rap group?  I think people are entitled to express themselves as they choose.  We are individuals, and it’s beautiful that we can be so different.  However, I don’t think this wave of tats and piercings is so much about expression as it is about following a trend.  So, essentially, there are a lot of people following instead of leading.  It may be wrong to factor in looks when choosing who gets the job, but hey, if I own a company, then the person I hire is representing me (my brand).  Maybe my target customer is conservative in nature.  Tattoo tears aren’t going to help me make money.

I Love This Book!

If only I had owned this book when I was little.  I bought I Love My Hair! a few years ago when my eldest daughter was going through her own hair tribulations.  Like the heroine in the book, my little one hated having her hair combed, no matter how gentle I was.  So many of us have hair issues that start when we are still in single digit years.  Sometimes these issues are handed down to us by parents (whether consciously or not), or from our own experience with having our hair combed out.  I remember being in kindergarten and looking at the hair commercials for Flex and Finesse.  They always had some glamorous blond swishing her long, silken tresses.  I would do the same, of course.  This memory is so vivid for me that I guess it must have been a really big deal on some level.  I even remember asking my mom why no one in the commercials looked like us (as in, black people).  Thankfully, I haven’t been traumatized by the media in any way that I can think of; however, I find myself worrying about what my children will swallow from all the junk being fed to them from media’s various sources.  How can a young girl grow into an able, confident woman if she is unable to embrace who she is?  If I could have my way, this next generation of young ladies would be one with poise, intelligence and integrity.  Forget about beauty making the top three.  The truth is, beauty is nice and all, but it doesn’t last and it can’t stand on it’s own.  Besides, since it really is in the eye of the beholder, chances are someone will always find you attractive anyway.  I’m rambling on, it seems, but there is a connection to my ramblings and I Love My Hair!.  The heroine of this book describes her natural hair poetically.  It is compared to fine wool, a forest, wings for her to fly when combed in two.  Her mother has not fed her the all too common rhetoric about needing straight hair or having naps.  Instead, Mama nourishes this child’s spirit and esteem by telling her why her head of hair is so special.  There is also a book written for little boys, Bippity Bop Barbershop.  I have not read this book, but have heard good things about it.  Both books are written by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley.  Also highly recommended is Whoever You Are, by Mem Fox.  It’s a simple book that teaches children that though we all seem different, we really are the same.  The only beauty that will not fade is that of a kind heart.

Love that bruises

I swore I wasn’t going to write about this.  Unfortunately, here I am doing what I said I wouldn’t.  I’m talking about the Rihanna-Chris Brown circus, of course.  As of today, the latest is that they are in Miami, staying at P.Diddy/Daddy/Whatever he’s calling himself these days.  I want to be clear on my stance.  I don’t think that Rihanna should make decisions based on her being a ‘role model’ but should make them based on her own personal best interests.  I do not believe that Chris Brown is evil and deserves death threats, either.  That being said, I think Rihanna made the wrong choice, and Chris Brown needs Jesus and some professional help.  I am a big believer that if any man hits you once, he’ll do it again (and again).  Also, rarely do these things come out of the blue.  There’s usually something attached to it: he’s possessive or puts you down or some other negative attribute that should serve as an alarm.  I look at Rihanna and wonder why she has decided that this is what she’s worthy of.  I say this because (again, this is my opinion) if your esteem and self-worth is where it should be, then you are unwilling to put up with an abusive relationship.  You know what is right and healthy for you, and if some clown decides to treat you in an unacceptable way, then it’s “good-bye and good luck.”

The men in the picture worry me.  You have, Chris Brown, who is young and probably can be reformed if he’s serious about it.  This means really making a change.  I don’t get why Rihanna went back when he hasn’t done any type of counselling, program or such.  He hasn’t put in the work.  Sorry just isn’t good enough…well, may be it is, for her.  Rihanna’s father also concerns me.  On one hand, I wonder if he just told the media something some one conjured up and really feels differently.  However, I have to go by what he’s quoted as saying.  I don’t like the fact that her dad thinks it’s okay for her to go back to a guy who battered her.  Never mind she’s an adult, this was dad’s time to say, “She’s made her decision, but I think she deserves better.”  Nope, none of that going on here.  I look at this talented young woman and wonder what I would do if it were my child in that situation.  God willing, I will do a good enough job raising my kids so that they are strong and confident enough to stay away from such destructive behaviour.  However,  if it were to happen, what would I do?  First off, this post would probably be used as evidence against me in court.  There’s no way I’d let a man get away with hitting my girls.  If they couldn’t handle the situation themselves, I’d step in.  I hope that my daughters see the relationship that I have with their father (and the relationship my parents have), and decide not to settle for less than such.  Growing up (and even to this day) my father always told me how much he loved me, how beautiful and intelligent he thought I was.  He was always very proud of his children.  As his only daughter, I received ‘the talk’ more times than I care to remember.  If any man ever touched me in anger, I was to fight like hell and never make an excuse for him.  I learned from watching my dad, that real men sometimes cry, sacrifice a lot for the good of the family (as do real women!), and they never use you for a punching bag or belittle you.  Because my parents lived a great relationship before my eyes, as I grew, I shifted from taking it for granted, to realizing how special and difficult it was to have. I wanted no less than what they had.  It saddens me that there are a lot of  women who think they deserve the terrible treatment they get from their men.  I ask myself if it’s because we don’t think we’re beautiful enough, deserving enough.  Case in point: Why are so many people making excuses for Chris Brown?  What could Rihanna (or any other woman) do to truly justify a beating?  I know in a lot of ways, I’m blessed with my family life.  However, backgrounds aside, a great deal of this is emotion (I love him, he’ll change) versus common sense (He doesn’t love you, he’ll hit you again).  I have to say, in the white community, everyone was pretty horrified and sympathetic toward Rihanna.  For us, it was divided.  Read any message board online for the scoop and you’ll see that there are a lot of numb skulls (pardon the ol’ school term) defending Chris Brown.  What does that say about us?  It’s troubling at best and makes me wonder what things with be like for the generation I am helping to raise.